Disagreeable doors

I get quite angry with inanimate objects when I’m frustrated and under pressure. I expect compliance dammit!

Funny. Because yesterday didn’t start that way.

It started perfectly at 6:00am with a strong black coffee, some stretching, exercising and a little meditation, followed by 30 minutes of writing my tech blog.

And then during the morning the commitments and responsibilities and expectations started rolling in. Kids to drop off, work issues to solve via phone, Internet access problems, kids to drop off somewhere else… I was hammered the entire morning.

Riddled With it

Too many balls in the air. Too many open loops in my head. Too many doors to open. Too many metaphors.

I expect the physical world to help out in these situations and it didn’t

Today I have two scars to prove it. Skin off my arm when I expected the back door to get out of my way and the handle caught my upper bicep, and skin off my shin where the bottom corner of the car door got me.

Keys got stuck in my jeans pocket. Instead of pulling them out gently I ripped them out and now my USB stick, shaped like a bullet (bought at Mona), won’t connect to my key ring any more.

The bottom drawer in my bedroom had the audacity to get stuck as I was closing it. Instead of coaxing it straight and sliding it in, I applied increasing pressure until it gave. Bang!

When I’m stressed and overwhelmed my body/mind stops paying attention and I walk straight lines expecting compliance from the physical universe.

One of the first words – if not the first – my twin boys learnt was “Door”. Pushing them down suburban streets in a pram they would point at every garage and yell, “Door!” One of them was obsessed with opening and closing doors at home. Of course fingers were jammed and tears manifest.

In my head, I yearn for so much. To learn, travel, earn and grow. I love opening doors just like my boys do.

There are doors I love (like this blog), doors I’d like to love, and doors I feel compelled to return to over and over again.

I open as many as I can and then… I’m overrun. And then the other day actual doors started physically hurting me.

The world can be quite disagreeable to my needs sometimes.

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